There's an old saying that goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." And there's few areas where it applies more than in regards to cheating mates.

If your boyfriend or husband has been unfaithful, there's always the chance that he will be again. So what should you do about it?

It's not hard to recognize the signs that your partner is cheating on you, once you know what they are.

The most obvious red flag is when he starts spending a lot less time with you than he used to. But you might be surprised to hear that the opposite is true, as well ' another sign that your man is being unfaithful is that he's suddenly generous and attentive, far more than usual.

If he seems almost too good be true, he just might be ' if he's feeling guilty about his infidelity, he may try to make it up to you by showering you with compliments and gifts for no apparent reason. But there might be a reason, after all.

So if you do suspect he's cheating, how do you handle the situation and can couples really heal from something like this?

1. Don't jump to conclusions

The worse thing you can do is greet him at the door with bitter accusations and threats of a breakup. Instead, tell him your concerns and simply ask him if he's been seeing other women.

Even if you haven't caught him red-handed, he may confess if you're calm and rational. He's actually less likely to admit his mistakes if you paint him into a corner and lash out at him verbally ' he'll only get defensive.

If you can keep a cool head, you stand a better chance of healing the relationship. But if you panic and take out all your frustrations on him, you'll destroy any hope of improving your relationship. So, now that the cat's out of the bag, what do you do next?

2. Ask him why he cheated

Instead of lecturing him about what a terrible mistake he made, ask him what compelled him to be unfaithful. Usually when one partner is cheating, that means the other partner's partially at fault.

If he risked your relationship with his behavior, that probably means there's something seriously wrong with the relationship!

If you genuinely want to solve your problems and keep him at home, take a long, hard look in the mirror first.

Did he feel suffocated because you weren't giving him enough space? Did you nag too much? Perhaps you just weren't available emotionally or physically. If he sought fulfillment elsewhere, it stands to reason that he wasn't getting what he needed at home.

Of course, there are some men who are habitual cheaters no matter what woman they are with, who can't seem to settle down. In this case, you're better off without him ' find someone you can trust.

But if his cheating is a new thing, and a symptom of problems in your relationship, you need to take responsibility for your contribution to those problems.

3. Get to work.

If you've determined that the cause of his infidelity is, indeed, troubles within your relationship, it's time to roll up your sleeves and fix what's wrong.

It's one thing to sit down and have a conversation about your problems, it's a whole other thing to do the tough work required to solve them.

Consider seeing a relationship counselor ' if he cheated, that might mean the lines of communication between the two of you have been broken for a long time. An expert can help repair them and get you two on the path to a better relationship.

4. Get over it.

If you're willing to continue a relationship with a man who cheated, you have to let go of his past.

It may not be easy to forget, but if you don't forgive then your relationship is doomed. Remind yourself of your own mistakes if you feel tempted to start playing the blame game. Don't continue to punish him for his mistakes.

You have to leave that negativity behind you ' if you do, you might find that the two of you become closer than ever.

5. Honesty is the best policy.

Set a new precedent for your relationship. From now on, don't choose politeness over honesty. If something's bothering you, say so ' no matter how trivial it may seem.

Face your troubles head on ' running away from problems is what got you both here in the first place. Let him know that he can be open and honest with you no matter what.

If you encourage honesty in your home, you'll find that as you solve small conflicts together your relationship will grow stronger.

Dealing with the betrayal of a cheating mate is painful, but if you're willing to take stock of your own faults and honestly work with your partner to solve your problems, it's possible to rebuild you relationship stronger than it was before.

But remember that some men are serial cheaters, and there's nothing you can say or do to stop them. If this is the situation in which you find yourself, you may have no choice but to break it off and move on.