Though it may seem as though the ability to comfort one's partner should come naturally and should be accomplished easily enough, many people struggle with the emotional strength it requires. There are many different ways that one can comfort another person and yet many seem to have great difficulty assessing the type of comfort needed and administering that particular type.   If one remains in a relationship long enough, (keep in mind many people meet under stressful situations that bring them together,) the ability to successfully identify a partners emotional needs can be crucial to many other aspects of the relationship. An example of this link between comfort and other important factors in a relationship might be: When one feels that they are able to bring their emotion distress to their partner and their partner is able to identify what type of comfort is being sought and act accordingly; the partner seeking the comfort is made to feel they are able to rely on, to trust, the person they have chosen to be with.  As most couples experience some kind of hardship during the many different stages of their relationship, the ability to successful comfort one's partner, though often overlooked, is of great importance.

  The Types of Comfort
+ The ability to listen, really listen, is truly a rare quality in most people. To hear the entirety of what ails one's partner without interruption or distraction; to set aside other thoughts and show that one is listening in expression and body language, can be a difficult request but is at times the only comfort being sought. Often one is compelled interrupt the conversation and begins working on solutions, or offering advice on how to act constructively, this is not considered listening. While dwelling on one's problems for too long can be unhealthy for both people, there are times when it is best to remain quiet and simply let your loved one vent their troubles. It is often the case with many problems, especially for those who have a tendency to be a little overemotional, that simply letting it out by expressing the problem verbally can be all the comfort one needs to let go of the difficulty and move forward. + Offering advice when it is sought can be a tricky undertaking as it is difficult to know when advice should be given. Another difficult problem with the offering of advice is that often one feels responsible for the results, keep in mind the type of person your partner is when offering this aid to assure that they will be capable of acting in the way they are being advised to. For example: If one couple includes a very bold, confidant person and a reserved, self-conscious person; the same advice for both individuals would often be unsuccessful even disastrous should either try to follow it. Always keep in mind when offering advice; if one is seeking it from you often they hold you in high esteem and may attempt to follow your instructions without hesitation; this can be useful in certain situations or a complete failure in others. Taking the time to asses not only whether or not your advise is desired, but also how it will affect the person in carrying it out will help to create a stronger bond in the relationship. + The study of touch, from the brush of a hand to a passionate kiss, has been of much interest to many doctors and scientists for years. The reaction a person experiences, both consciously and subconsciously, can be extreme even for the simplest of acts. Physically comforting one's partner can be of great help if they are feeling particularly vulnerable or alone. Knowing the appropriate time for this kind of comfort can be difficult as certain people do not desire much contact of this kind.

  Often those who react badly to being touched by a person, who they are otherwise comfortable with, have experienced a trauma in their life that has forced them to shy away from this kind of contact; if you or your partner experience feelings of anxiety when being touched it maybe necessary to seek professional aid to discover the source and solution; at the very least some introspection is advised so that you do not have to experience such an adverse reaction to your partner.   Physical comfort can come in the form of sensual acts; these can be both a pleasurable and distracting way to comfort one’s partner; never assume, however, that a vulnerable moment is an appropriate time to act in this way. One might feel comforted by a hug but insulted by the pursuit of sex when one is distraught, this could lead to a conflict of emotions, a confrontation and a breaking of that feeling of trust. When comforting your partner in this manner, follow their lead and be sensitive to the reactions that they are having to your touch.
+ Though perhaps not often, there are certain times when one has the ability to relieve their partner of the problem altogether by making it their own. In certain situations, when one partner is perhaps the stronger or more dominate of the two this can be extremely helpful and a good example of how two people can complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. If for example the problem is simply that one partner has had a long day, is tired and irritable the other partner may be of great help by taking over certain household tasks that they would normally not do. This kind of comfort is very useful and often greatly appreciated as it indicates that when your partner is having difficulty coping with a situation you will be there to take care of them and the necessary tasks that are required by your lives. + Certain problems that arise can agitate and perplex to such an extreme point that the person is no longer attempting to solve or understand the issue before them; but is instead unnecessarily creating emotional stress, that they have little hope of reducing while continuing to dwell on the problem. This is also true of problems that simply have no solution in the immediate future and may require time or other actions before they can be solved. In situations like these, when remaining focused on the problem is pointless for the time being, distraction can be an ideal method of breaking the strain one's partner is experiencing. Humor is often an excellent method for changing a persons mood and helping them to mentally step back from their problems. A change of surroundings, even if only for a day or two, can also help one's perspective change greatly. + The method of attempting to remind one's partner of the positive influences in their life can be a tricky task; if a negative state of mind is present and one's partner is determined to remain as such, it can be altogether useless. However, if one finds that they are able to remind their partner of these positive aspects of their life, or their lives together, it can be an excellent way to put an end to a gloomy state of mind. During a discussion in which one attempt’s to introduce positive ideas to focus on, one must always remember that becoming angry is an almost certain way to drive their partner further into a stressful state of mind. Some may find it too difficult to remind a person of such positive thoughts when that person repeatedly refuses to understand them in the same fashion. The even tempered may find this method much more to their liking, while those who get frustrated easily may find they become even more upset than their partner.

  Of all the strategies in place, both commonly known and the personal methods that couples find works for them, there is almost never an absolute fail-safe formula for relieving a loved one of their pain. One of the most difficult tasks couples may experience is to watch the person they love suffer and be unable to change that feeling. It is important to remember that with a little patience, understanding and the ability to listen; one can help to create an environment where one’s partner always feels safe and able to cope with any situation.