Thousands of years ago, the idea that two people could have such intense and lasting feelings for one another that they might last a life time, was as mind boggling an issue, as it remains today. While some people chase the idea of love their entire life, others spend that time running away from it. With so many questions, that even the most brilliant minds of our time can only theorize about, falling in love and the complex feelings, emotions and physical reactions that play out during this time will probably forever remain shrouded in mystery.

  With the growth of self discovery and a desire for explanation it was only a matter of time before people sought a way to explain the intense emotions surrounding love through science. Once the physical and emotional reactions were studied by countless groups of experts it became obvious that there are indeed certain patterns which people follow that can seemingly explain love. However, many people still believe that while science can show the physical effects of such an emotion other forces play a hand in the event. Whether you believe in the clinical or spiritual version; whether you choose to call it love or simply rely on the chemical reaction one person has in the presence of another, there is no doubt that a large portion of the population hopes to experience such feelings in their lifetime.

  Now that we have taken a small peek into some of the larger theories behind what might be the most intense and widely discussed human emotion, how does one proceed? When thousands of years of accumulative knowledge; brilliant, scientific minds; magnificent, religious leaders and even revered, romance novelists can’t hand you a precise definition, (or handbook,) how can you know when you are in, how to get or how to retain love? The answer is: there is no answer. People are unique and difficult, strange and wonderful creatures that will not always fit the recommended course of action. Many people have heard the standard advice: always be yourself, treat others as you would have them treat you, learn to compromise…and while this is good advice, it doesn’t always help in certain situations. Though a guide to the secrets of love may not be available, many believe that simply being willing to understand such an emotion is a great start toward making a success of it and if you’re reading this, you may find that you’re in that group of people who not only want love, but have a lot of love to give.   So what 5 recommendations can you read about that you haven’t read before? Perhaps none: living as we do in the age of not only technology, but perhaps more importantly, information, you may have all the advice you need to plunge into the world of finding your soul mate. However, if you find that a few details couldn’t hurt and perhaps you’re still feeling that a little advice never hurts:

• Being Honest about Who You Are: or the more popular, always be yourself: This is very true for the most part, but in some cases revealing everything, right away, is a bad idea. To deceive your future partner is in all likelihood is a road that leads to the beginning of the end and will not usually prove the best method for falling in love with another person; to allow that person to get close to you before you explain certain complex parts of your life, or personality that might seem undesirable until they have a better chance to know you, is perfectly healthy. You should never have to lie to a person about who you are, but every person has sides to them that are more private. Rather than thinking of it as truth or lie it can help to reveal parts of yourself based on levels of trust; once your relationship has reached a comfortable level of trust it might be time to reveal the less attractive parts of your life, until then don’t lie, but don’t be ashamed to highlight the best parts of yourself for display.

• Everybody’s problematic: Heading into the dating world while focusing on shortcomings tends to leave a person feeling inadequate. It can appear as though any potential dates are flawless and therefore, untouchable. Don’t forget that however together a person may seem, they have flaws just like you. Not only does this help at the beginning of a relationship when confidence may be an issue, but further down the road when problems arise between you and the love of your life, it can help to understand situations from that person’s point of view; keeping your own flaws in mind will help you to be a more patient and understanding partner in the future.

• Chemical Copout: Love and lust are not the same thing and while each feeling has its’ plus side, confusing one for the other can be a heartbreaking mistake. Keep in mind that when attraction occurs on physical level this might just be the time when you are least in control of your actions. We have all heard the stories, from both sexes, about actions taken that people later regret simply because they felt that they were not thinking straight. That is not to say that physical interactions aren’t an enormous and wonderful part of human relationships, but to fall in love with a body part might not turn out quite the way you hope it will. If you are looking for love, attraction is a great start, but just as you should not always let your heart rule your head, same goes for other various parts of the body.

• It might not happen: Phrases often used to comfort those who are lonely or heartbroken: Don’t worry you’ll fall in love someday or There’s a special person out there just for you: Not always. No one can promise you that you will find a wonderful person to fall in love with, that everything will be great and that you will live happily ever after. Sometimes the best course of action to take is to simply let it go. Find happiness and contentment in your life and learn to live for those reasons. Ironically enough, people who choose to focus on the progress they wish to make in their lives, whatever that means to them, end up bumping into the people of their dreams. Why is it that love can hit you over the head during this time period of self progression? It is extremely attractive to most people to find a person who knows exactly who they are and what they would like to do with their life. Whether or not you fall in love your life can be full and wonderful and can still include deep relationships with those close to you.

• Fate, a fickle friend and unfathomable foe: True romantics often think of falling in love as a predetermined course that each couple is set upon, no action, or event can break destiny and therefore two people can truly be meant for each other. While fate may play a hand in our lives, love or otherwise, to depend on destiny to deliver you a perfect mate might be asking a little too much. In short: you have to get out there and look for the person with whom you can share your life with. It will require patience, honesty and a little style to meet and successfully fall in love with another person. You may feel nervous, embarrassed and at times completely confused about the entire love issue, but know this: almost everybody (some people can’t admit things,) feels just that way at one time or another about love. The very same people who can terrify you at first may eventually be as comfortable to be around as your own family (depending on your family.) Trust plays a big part in finding a good relationship, when do you begin to trust and how quickly should you trust a new person in your life? Unfortunately you can’t always be sure about the timing in a relationship and it may require a little instinct or discussion. Once again, the same questions are most likely taking place, behind those pretty eyes you find yourself lost in; take the leap when you’re ready and don’t be afraid to try.

  If falling in love, if finding love, was an easy task to accomplish, the human race might not be so intrigued by its’ affect on society and the individual. Know that when you feel a little lost it is a feeling shared by billions of other people, over thousands of years. The next time you are out looking, online chatting or even being fixed up; remember that you’re not alone; most people want to find love and perhaps with a mix of science, fate, determination and a little luck you too can find your own answers to that elusive and awe inspiring mystery.

Written by Alison your online dating and relationship advisor; be sure to check out our online dating reviews for more information and to submit your own questions.