Learn how to flirt
- Author Deborah Dixon
- Published November 8, 2008
- Word count 1,289
Everyone experiences flirting at some stage in their life, whether it is intentional or unintentional and it plays a very important part in finding that special person which could possibly lead to a thriving relationship. The key principle of flirting is to send out signals to others that you are attracted to them and would like to get closer to them.
When flirting, the most important thing to remember is that it should be fun. If you do not enjoy flirting, this will be apparent to people you are forcing yourself to flirt with and will certainly put them off you before you even get to know them. It is also vital that you have a positive attitude, which can be an attractive feature to others, as you are more likely to have success with an optimistic outlook.
When carried out correctly flirting makes you feel good and confident, and it also makes the person you are flirting with feel good as everyone likes to receive flattering attention. Flirting can bring two people closer together and also be very sexy. It is important that you recognise when you are being flirted with, otherwise you may possibly miss out on a potential date.
Often the best flirting moments happen when you are not expecting them, so there is no need to worry about planning a time to flirt. It is vital that you get the balance of flirting just right. Too much flirting can ruin a good situation and too little can give the impression that you are not interested.
Flirting Do's and Don'ts
Getting flirting right cannot be underestimated. Take on board these "do's" and "don'ts" of flirting to make sure you don't make those common flirting mistakes.
Flirting - Do's
The more these techniques are practiced, the more natural they will become to you, resulting in you appearing confident and enjoying yourself.
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Make sure you have a smile on your face. This will show that you are a kind happy person enjoying yourself. A smile is often the first flirting sign a potential date would notice, so a warm smile could attract someone to you.
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Give compliments to the person you are flirting with. Compliments are a good way to make someone feel special and good about themselves.
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When flirting, make sure you have regular eye contact with the person you are flirting with. Try to make it look natural remembering not to stare otherwise you might scare them off.
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When having a conversation stick to topics you enjoy and are interested in. This will help to keep conversation flowing plus show that you are an interesting happy person.
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Try to ask questions to the person you are flirting with. This will show that you are genuinely interested in them. This is a good idea especially if you have been introduced by a friend as it can help to break the ice.
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Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. By showing an interest in them you are showing that you are considerate and genuinely enjoy their company.
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Casually touch the person you are flirting with on the arm or hand to show that you are interested in them but be careful not to overdo it.
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Make sure you sit up straight with your chin held high. Sitting or standing tall gives you the confidence you need for perfect flirting moments.
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Always offer your hand to shake if introduced by a friend. This automatically informs the other person that you are genuinely pleased to meet them. Use this opportunity to see how long your hand is held for. A warm handshake may set the flirting moment off to an excellent start.
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When starting a discussion, try to use phrases such as "I think" or "I wonder". By starting a sentence this way you are leaving the discussion open for the other person to share their opinion.
As you practice these techniques, you will become an expert at flirting without overdoing it. You will also learn how to relax and really enjoy yourself.
Flirting - Don'ts
Getting flirting wrong is unfortunately very easy. With the intention of attracting someone, you could actually find yourself scaring them away before you have even said a word. You want to give the impression that you are genuine and want to get to know them, not to come across as being uninterested or only after a physical relationship. If you avoid the following classic flirting disasters at all costs, you will have many successful flirting moments.
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It is crucial that you avoid tasteless chat-up lines. Chat-up lines instantly put people off and are a major catastrophe for flirting.
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Try not to fidget. Fidgeting shows that you are nervous and uncomfortable, which are not characteristics you want to show your flirting partner.
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Make an effort not to look down to the ground while flirting. Make sure you look at the eyes of the person you are flirting with to show you are keen and paying attention to them. At the same time, remember not to stare at them. You want regular eye contact holding their gaze slightly longer than usual.
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Avoid using phrases such as "y'know" or "yeah". These phrases may make you look uneducated and a possible turn-off for many.
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Don't cross your arms across your chest while flirting. This gives the impression that you are defensive and untrusting towards others, which is not the impression you want to give out when flirting.
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When having a discussion, don't use sounds such as "erm" or "huh". These are sounds that will make you sound anxious and uncomfortable.
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Avoid biting or chewing your nails and picking skin while flirting. These disgusting habits are not for flirting moments. Keep this behaviour for behind closed doors.
Flirting Signs
Flirting occurs in a variety of forms such as a facial expression, body language and even the way someone speaks. These are known as flirting signs. Some flirting signs are quite obvious, such as winking, smiling, gazing, the raising of eye brows and gentle touching on the arm. Other flirting signs aren't so obvious, for example, having dilated pupils, copying of body movements, copying tone of voice and even sitting up straight. Which ever flirting signs you choose to use, be careful not to overuse them.
Top 10 Flirting Tips
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Avoid tasteless chat-up lines. They are an instant turn-off for most people.
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Have a positive attitude. You are more likely to have success with a positive outlook and remember to talk about subjects you enjoy rather than subjects you do not like.
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Make sure you have a smile on your face to show that you are comfortable and having a great time.
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Make regular eye contact with the person you are flirting with, but don't stare.
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Pay compliments to the person you are with as everyone likes to be flattered.
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Try not to fidget as it will only make you look uncomfortable.
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Listen carefully to the person you are with and look interested in what they say.
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Do not cross your arms across your chest as this gives the impression that you are a defensive person and possibly unapproachable.
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Sit or stand tall and face the person you are flirting with to show that you are completely focused on them.
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Remember to relax and have fun. Flirting is much easier and when you are relaxed and others will pick up on your fun and optimistic outlook.
Flirting is meant to be an enjoyable experience, not a trauma. By following these simple suggestions, you will learn that flirting is all about having fun and not something to worry about. As you practice these techniques, flirting will become natural to you and you will hopefully find yourself having many successful dates.
Deborah has been the head copy writer for Completely Free Dating for over 2 years offering help and advice to its members on all aspects of dating. Completely Free Dating is a free dating service for people living in the UK, with absolutely no charges to any member at any time for any service.
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