When Is A Friend A True Friend?

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Ruth Purple
  • Published January 8, 2009
  • Word count 589

What is a friend? It's somebody who accepts you for what you are and stands by your side through thick and thin. A person can have as many as he wants, but only a few will be your best friend. Out of those few, fewer still are really true friends which are hard to come by these days. Although most of us try to be a good friend - always there to comfort and help out during rough times , celebrate their happiness, or simply hold their hand —there comes a time when you realize that you’ve been holding on too long.

Or you realize that the friendship is not really genuine, but a heavy burden that weighs you down. Letting go of a friend is never easy. Of course, you don’t want to be "that awful person who dumped his friend" ! Real friendships don’t just happen. Just as any relationship, it needs maintenance, nourishment. So, when is it time to cut a friendship loose? Evaluate your relationship: who's the giver and who's the taker? Are you putting aside some (if not all) of your priorities just to facilitate their needs? How long has this been going on? How much abuse are you willing to take? Ask yourself whether this person contributes something to the relationship.

No, don’t feel selfish: a little selfishness every other time only means that you love yourself too. Friendship is about give-and-take, so it’s only right that she adds something to your life. Your house is your friends’ house. She can drop by and stay the night anytime. She can even stay the whole weekend and wear your clothes and eat your food! But, how is this affecting you? Does she even care that you’re spreading your budget thin just to have enough for your kids and accommodate her at the same time?! You may not be aware that you are a victim of needing to be needed.

It has always been YOU YOU YOU YOU! You buy lunch; she eats off everything from the plate. You go somewhere together; you always pay for gas (even for the bus ticket). She needs somebody to pour out her pains with, so you stay up late to hear her out. But when you need somebody, she's simply not there. Are you willing to pay the price for this friendship? Your friend bleeds you dry, and that’s not a sign that she truly cares for you. It’s crystal clear that she only cares of what you can do for her now.

Wake up and smell the coffee, hon. It won’t be a shocking surprise if she dumps you first. Have you had enough? In this world you can have friends...or you can have true friends. There are givers as well as takers. Know who gives and who’s always there looking for a handout. A true friend will only seek your highest potential and be happy with what you achieve. Friends who only get what they can get and keep you from being your true self is not really a friend at all. Having a lasting friendship is the best gift anybody can have.

It sure is great to have a lot of friends. But nothing beats having one true friend that you can count on than having lots of friends who will only share your happiness but never your burdens. Look at your fingers and count your true friends. It's amazing that you'll find only a few.

Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

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