If you have recently broken up with someone and have been trying to win them back without success you have likely asked yourself the question "why won't my ex come back?" Most adults that have been in relationships have experienced a break up or two. In many cases the break up was for the best. Those involved come to realize this and move on. But if you are certain that your ex is the one for you and you want them back in your life there are options that you need to consider to help win your ex back. The point is that breaking up does not mean you can never get back together.

It is very possible to win your ex back after a break up. In order to improve your chances of success you need to understand the necessary steps available to do this. Most people go about how to get an ex back completely wrong and in the end push their ex further away. Here are some general guidelines to follow to get your ex back.

1. Determine exactly what happened to cause the break up. You are not re-living or trying to change the past here. You simply need to understand why the break up occurred. Once you know this then you can learn from it and avoid the same mistakes again.

2. Ask yourself if the break up occurred because of one thing or a number of things. Regardless of the cause you need to be honest with yourself about what the real reasons were. Then if and when the situations arise again you will be better prepared to deal with them. If you expect a long-term resolution to your relationship problems you need to be sure that you know exactly what the problems were to begin with.

3. Question: why won't my ex come back? Answer: because I'm a needy person! If you want to know how to get an ex back then don't act like a needy person! This is so important but often overlooked by many in your situation. Yes - we all think we can't live without the person we just broke up with but they don't need to know that. If you can stay strong, confident and demonstrate independence you will be much more attractive to your ex than someone who is needy, clingy and dependent. Inner strength is sexy! Stay strong!

4. Don't look for revenge or try to "get back at your ex." This approach will likely backfire and you will drive a wedge further between the two of you. Getting an ex back is a multifactorial process. If something bad happened between you two and you use it against your ex there will be no room for forgiveness or forgetting. It will become impossible to move on as a couple.

In trying to determine why won't my ex come back you need to determine exactly what happened to cause the break up, be honest with yourself about what the real reasons were for the break up, don't be a needy person, and don't use revenge tactics.