The Power Of An Apology

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Ruth Purple
  • Published February 18, 2009
  • Word count 539

"I’m sorry" – two little words that can make or break a relationship. It is human nature to make mistakes, but making an apology is not. There are some who find it easy to apologize and there are some who find it extremely difficult. admitting your mistake is a bitter pill to swallow, yet being able to do so makes one a much better person, more or less. You are aware that you did something wrong, which is why your partner is upset. Deep in your heart, you know that you owe the person an apology. Do you apologize? The power of an apology cannot be undermined.

It can work wonders, especially in a marriage or relationship. Your spouse may be seething mad just a millisecond ago, hurt and angry because she spent the whole afternoon getting pretty for a dinner date that you easily forgot. But, as soon as you apologized, there will surely be a visible change in her expression. Maybe her eyebrows won’t be that arched, her nostrils will stop flaring, or maybe you won’t even see any change at all. The point is, an apology was given even if she won’t let you off the hook just yet. There is a marked difference in how men and women apologize.

For most women, it is quite easy to do. It’s almost second nature for them to say "I’m sorry" (there are, of course, exceptions to the rule). Men often have a hard time admitting their mistakes, much less apologize. This is where the conflicts arise. Because women place great value on emotions, for her, saying "I'm sorry" is also an affirmation that he cares about the relationship. Men, however, often find it hard to say these two little words and would rather be hanged than say it. The truth is, a man feels guilty when he upsets his partner, although he won’t always show it.

Muttering an almost inaudible "I’m sorry" is not always enough. An apology has three very important aspects that can subdue an angry mate or make the situation even worse: Say it like you mean it: sincerity in a spoken word is vital. Even if you’ve already said the words, how you say it will ultimately determine the reaction of the receiver. A sincere apology is genuine, and it means that you are truly and honestly sorry for what you’ve done. On the other hand, an insincere one could only offend the other person and make matters blow out of proportion.

Stop making excuses when you apologize. An apology becomes more sincere if you’re man (or woman) enough to take full responsibility for your actions. Being defensive only shows that you don’t admit the wrong that you’ve done and could end up in a heated argument between you and your spouse. A sincere apology needs a sincere promise. When apologizing, make a sincere promise and try to stick to it. Saying "I’m sorry" can be hard, but people hold more respect for a person who knows how to apologize. Besides, it is easier to forgive a person who makes a sincere apology than one who doesn't care at all.

The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

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