Do you want to get your ex girlfriend back?" If you are pondering this question, then you probably didn't want to break up in the first place, or the break up was your fault and you are feeling regret. To get to the bottom of the feelings that are behind this question, and to see if you really want to get your ex back, you have to first ponder a few questions.

Was the break up your fault? What were the specifics of your break up? Were you insensitive? Did you stop paying attention to her? Were you emotionally unavailable? Did you cheat? Until you can pinpoint why exactly, the relationship ended, you can't start the process of reconciliation. Once you have ascertained at least one reason for the break up you are on your way to discovering if you will be winning back your ex.

If your break up was from a wrong doing on your part, your first step is a sincere apology. Your apology must be sincere because if you are doing it just to get your ex back, she will see right through that. Obviously, you want her back, but she can't feel like you are manipulating her. Be willing to apologize, even if it might not get her back.

Showing your sensitive side and being willing to be vulnerable will be the next step in winning you're your ex. There is no guarantee you'll get back together, but the odds are in your favor when you do things right. If she is willing to talk with you, or get together for lunch or coffee then tell her that you miss her and that you feel badly about things. Do not do this in a way that makes her feel pressured to take you back. Also let her know that you are working hard to better yourself.

You can also show her with small gestures of kindness, a simple card, a single flower. This will show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Be sure to pay attention to how she responds. If your gestures of sorrow and contrition only make her angry-she throws the flower down or something dramatic like that, then back off and change your tactics until you figure out what she responds to. Put yourself in her shoes and think about what she really needs to feel happy and receptive to your gestures. Being honest, writing your own card, bringing her a small gift that is personal, for example a small size of her favorite candy bar, the latest edition of her favorite magazine are gestures that show you know her and want to ease her day and make her smile.

Being thoughtful is often considered unmanly. Women don't want a macho manly man all of the time. There is a time and a place for that. Being thoughtful is an important part in a good relationship and completely necessary if you want to get back together with your ex. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? If you were, then you need to continue to do the same thoughtful things that made your relationship good. Think back to when you were first together for ideas.

Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by doing the same thoughtful things as before? Not necessarily, but it puts you one step closer to getting her back. Every positive thing supports the next, making it easier and safer for her to come back to you. Be patient and don't expect things to happen right away. She may not trust your actions if it has been a long time since you were thoughtful or acted this way. Taking small steps is key at this point, as well as your ability to maintain a cheerful attitude. Although you may be frustrated you cannot show this to her. You need to be doing these thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you're working toward a goal.

When things aren't going smoothly and it seems like you will never get back with your ex, you may consider dating other women. You might be wondering can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women? If it has been a long time since the break up and you have both already seen other people than you might be able to do this in a way that could make her feel envious and miss you. If you are still fresh from the break up and feelings are fresh, then this could spell disaster. If it is obvious that you are using a new girlfriend to manipulate the old one you will have two women mad at you and be further away than ever from getting back with your ex. If she is dating someone else then you may be wondering can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?

The answer to that is probably no, but if you can communicate to her that you still care about her and want her back, while at the same time giving her space to be in her current relationship she may start to feel like you are the better choice. Keep yourself in her reality as much as possible without being overbearing. Short notes, a quick email, a nice text are all ways to keep her thinking about you without being in her face.

The above suggestions are just the beginning steps to getting back with your ex. It will take time and patience but if you do it right, you have a good chance of getting your girlfriend back.