You can learn how to get your ex back. In those emotional and sad days just after a break up it is easy to think that you want to get back together with your ex. In those lonely weeks and months when you are adjusting to life on your own it can be tempting to think that getting back with your ex will make you happy. Before you take action on these thoughts and feelings you should answer some questions first.

Will getting back with your ex really make you happy? Are you remembering that bad times that lead to the break up as well as the good times that you miss? Is being on your own really that bad? Will getting back with your ex honestly and truly fix what ails you and bring that happiness you desire? It is easy to dwell on the good memories in a relationship and forget the negative events that lead to the breakup in the first place. It is also easy to feel prey to the old status quo.....that even a bad relationship is better than no relationship.

In reality, most relationships are worth saving. Unless there was any kind of abuse, a high level of violent fighting, emotional instability or substance abuse issues, you probably have a relationship that can be fixed. If the relationship overall was a good one, with the normal ups and downs of life, a balance of good and bad times and a basic love and respect for one another , then the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Give your ex emotional space while staying connected in some way to them on a regular basis. You don't want to pester or push your ex but you do want them to be thinking of you. Brief text messages once a day saying hello, one email a week that is cheerful and supportive, checking in on a detail of their life that you care about will show that you are stable and ok but that you are still concerned about your ex. Do not expect anything from your ex. These gestures must be simple and pure hearted. You do not want to seem desperate.

Arguing, begging, or pleading with your ex about your past relationship is a sure fire way to send them packing. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone to dwell on past mistakes and suddenly panic about needing to apologize and make things right. You have probably gone over these things already with your ex. Bringing them up again, even to apologize just gives them new life. The past is the past. Make peace with yourself first and peace with your partner will follow.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over you can free yourself from these nagging insecurities and begin the healing process. You can't go back in time, even though you wish you could, so let go and move on! Focus your energy and emotions on what is going on now.

When you do make contact, there should be no discussion of the breakup or even of your past relationship. It should be only about current things. If the conversation comes easily and is reciprocated you may be on your way to rekindling things with your ex. If you ex is not interested in talking, he/she may need more time and space. Getting back with your ex could take time. Be patient.

Backing off, giving yourself and your ex space will allow you to grow as an individual and put healthy space between what was wrong with your relationship in the first place. If you are confident and doing well, they are more likely to miss you and you are more. This is the start of how to get your ex back!