The Life Of Schizophrenic

Self-ImprovementPsychology

  • Author Hristiyan Hristov
  • Published April 2, 2009
  • Word count 615

Being a schizophrenic isn't an easy thing, and no one will ever have the courage to tell you that having a difficult time grasping reality, and having grandiose delusions of things that may or may not be is like a walk in the park.

You avoid watching Television and especially movies because you end up thinking you're part of it and every single time you finish watching something, you might wonder if you're that thing and while knowing that none of it was true, you still somehow end up believing that you'll somehow destroy the world if you're not careful enough with your thoughts and actions.

Thinking about humanity and wondering why people make the choices that their forefathers made;

why humanity still continues to fail, and resists the facts that we're no more than prisoners in a large cell called "manipulation by choice and deprivation".

They tell you to watch TV, buy this and that while never actually needing it, let alone having the slightest drop of desire for the massive materialism that everyone continues to spread through word of mouth and educate everyone around them to adore. If you resist you'll be unhappy, for then you'll have absolutely nothing;

you wont be hip, you wont be cool, you'll be a dropout in society, anti-social, delusional, and most likely on repressing medication that has a main unlisted side-effect of holding every aspect of your unique existence to a thick and heavy chain, nailed to the ground with bolts and held to spot by the boulders of despair.

Yes I am a schizophrenic, and no i wont deny that i have more issues than solutions to everything i say, but what i simply can't deny, not even if you point a gun at me and said "Cease your actions and abandon any thought of freedom you posses", I shall not allow you to stop me from my inner thoughts, my desires, and the world which i see;

crippled, ugly, sinful, wrong, and pitiful as it may be, i can change it as much as i can change everyone around me.

It's oversimplified, it's arrogantly over bloated with mediocrity and degradation. It's how i see the world all around me. My words, my thoughts, concerns and actions mean nothing to the people that surround me. Yet i live, i choose to live, for now i know it is a sin to takes ones life, and much better is it to strive for betterment of our selves.

I've spent a larger portion of my life attempting to simply understand you, you who calls itself "humanity". I tried to understand the gender, be it male or female, your thoughts are very different, your ways created to be more unique than you can understand, and the choices that you make, are more confusing than due to lack of logic and a basic process of your thoughts.

Coherent are you? Yes, i ask. Did you not give thought to why we have a tendency to just ignore the wrongs we've done, the lessons missed instead of learned through not only our first experiences in our most basic years of the yearly growth in childhood? Perhaps you haven't, or am i simply crazy;

crazy for using my mind, analyzing information, trying to understand more about existence, why we do and how, and exactly what will bring us to that final "I Surrender My Uniqueness For Life Has Shown That I Have Reached My Limit". Life is not a limitation, oh no, far from it, it is, but I will let you think about the words I've shared with you, and make the choices that you will, be them good or bad.

Islam Religion is a safe, trustworthy, and authentic source for all who wish to learn about Islam.

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