Single Moms Are Hot, But--

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Ruth Purple
  • Published April 7, 2009
  • Word count 659

There are approximately 11 million single parents in America today, and their numbers are rapidly increasing. At least half of which are women, so there is always a possibility that you will meet a hot single mom and maybe land a date if you’re lucky enough. Dating a single, free-as-a-bird woman is way different from dating a single MOM. A non-mom can be happy-go-lucky, flexible, free-spending and spontaneous—all the things that a mom could never be. There may be occasions when you’ll spot a single mom at the hippest nightclub in your area, dressed in a ravishing little black dress that leaves little to the imagination.

She may look naturally sexy, but she doesn’t normally look like this at home. She may have spent the last 24 hours looking for sitters and making necessary arrangements just to leave the Land of Mommyhood for a couple of hours. In order to make things work with a single mom, there are some very important things that a guy has to keep in mind so that she’ll be asking for more. A mom is always juggling—roles, tasks and emotions that are different from those of a non-mom. She has to make time (all the time!) for her kids. The chances of having "alone time" with her is near zero, and she will be setting her boundaries based on her children’s needs.

Everything is a crazy balancing act for her—the family, career, money issues, and YOU. A guy has to be extra understanding of her situation so that he won’t end up feeling that he is taken for granted. This is the first step to a successful relationship with a single mom. Taking her for a weekend out-of-town trip may sound romantic and exciting, but remember that she’s a mom. Mixing motherhood with impulsiveness is quite impossible, so a single mom may not always be thrilled with spur-of-the moment ideas. It is always difficult to manage, and can be quite frustrating. You may have ironed out even the smallest details, but always be ready to cancel when something comes up.

Flexibility and being able to change plans at the last minute is something that you have to get used to when with a single mom. Being single is expensive; being a single mom is, well, VERY expensive. Raising a kid is no joke, so she will always need to stick on a budget. Though she may want to go out with you more often, the cost of babysitting may prevent her from doing so. If you want to spend more time with her without causing a dent in her budget, consider activities that don’t require a babysitter. An at-home movie night or a picnic in the park is something that everyone can enjoy and will probably earn you some bonus points.

Although your hot momma hasn’t introduced you to the kids yet, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you enough. Perhaps she doesn’t want her kids to meet every man she goes out with, or she wants to know you first and see where the relationship is heading. Give her the chance to get to know you one day at a time-- be patient and don’t take it personally. When you’re already a regular feature in the house, respect her decision about what is acceptable in front of the kids. Talk about how much affection should be expressed in their presence, and let her discipline them in her own way.

Avoid acting like a dad (which you aren’t), especially if the relationship is pretty recent. Issues about her kid’s behavior should be discussed, but never in their presence. Single moms often have a hard time making their kids get along with the guy they are dating. Jealousy and some amount of hostility is normal—hang tight—they will eventually see what she sees in you.

The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

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