25th of Nov 2006, at 9:43 p.m., I heard the most devastating statement of my life. The five words "I don't love you anymore" were hurled at me by my girlfriend of eight years. She literally told me "Oscar, I don't feel like I used to with you anymore. I don't love you anymore". Since then, it's been hell on earth. I could not seem to do anything. It was like the very essence of my being was torn from me. I had no more "fiber" in me. There was no zeal to do anything. No reason to live anymore. I considered so many options to end the torment; dating lots of girls, getting even, worst of all, suicide. My heart simply stopped beating, my life seemed to come to halt, I suddenly lacked the will to live and survive.

How many times have we all heard such statements? How do you move on when it clearly seems like there is no reason to? How do you learn to forget the pain or is it suppress it? How do you cope with seeing him or her date someone else particularly when you stay in the same neighborhood? I will attempt to shed light on how you can move with light even in the face of intense pain and heart ache. While I am not by any means saying that the tips provided here are the ultimate, I can at the very least state that they worked for me and seem to work for people I have recommended it to.

1. The very least you can do is go out.

Have fun with your friends. Scuba-dive, play soccer, dance, jog, party, your get hair done, fix those nails, go shopping et.c Being with friends and loved reduces the sense of loneliness. Reach out to friends and people you had ignored or not spent time with; spend time with them. Meet new people. But for Chrissake, do not just be by yourself. It makes the pain more excruciating.

2. Make up your mind to forget.

Hard as this may sound, it gets easier with every passing day. Put your mind to other things. As soon as you notice the thoughts of him or her creeping in, force your mind to other things such as the work at hand, the baseball game you just finished watching, anything. Just don't think of them. Practicing this is hard at first, but it gets better with daily practice.

3. Get busy.

Nothing makes the pain easier than getting down to work. It has been said that working makes the pain easier. By the time you get back from work, you are so tired you do not have time for anything else except sleep. And by the time you wake the next day, you are focused on the day ahead. With time, you will find a noticeable decrease in the frequency of thoughts you give to him or her.

4. Avoid all contact with them.

While it is good to remain friends with your erstwhile partners, avoid them while you are healing. This aids the healing and makes it quicker. If you both take the same routes to work, avoid that route. Avoid the shopping mall where you two used to go shopping. Avoid all the places the both of you used to go. Avoid every and anything that may bring you two together until you are seventy percent healed- You are seventy percent healed when you see them and thoughts of the past are just a pleasant memory, or you can successfully will your mind not to remember what it was like being with them.

5. Believe that you can love again and be loved by someone too.

One of the first things you notice is a serious lack of confidence in yourself; particularly when you did all you could to make the relationship work. I am a firm believer of the "one-door-closes-two other-doors-open theory". Every disappointment as far as I am concerned is a very big blessing. It gives me time to review what went wrong, and allows me improve on the could-have-been-better areas of my life. Think positive. There is always a better person out there waiting to love you and be loved by you.

6. Most of all, be yourself.

Do not change simply because you think you are not good enough. There are people out there who would love you for who and what you are. If there are some aspects of you that need changing, then by all means change them.

7. Get Rid Of Everything that reminds you of them. Get rid of those pictures you took at the beach. Take time to purge yourself of all those souvenirs and memoirs. All these help you ease off thge burden and pain.