Dating Older Men

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Rick Freedom
  • Published October 28, 2009
  • Word count 579

If you're tired of unreliable, immature guys, dating older men can seem like the ideal solution. Older men are often more capable, more confident and more considerate than dates your own age – and they know how to treat a woman right.

But dating older men can have pitfalls as well as pluses, so before you go searching for a more mature man, make sure that you're prepared.

Avoiding the Mid Life Crisis

If you're interested in dating older men, it's time to change where you look.

Avoid hooking up with any middle-aged men you meet in your usual nightclubs. Men who surround themselves with young, drunken women are looking for nothing more than arm candy. They are either suffering from a mid life crisis or coming through a divorce, and you are their attempt to prove that they're still attractive. If needy, insecure young men annoy you, remember that needy, insecure older guys are even worse.

Think about the sort of places older men meet up. Start drinking in more sophisticated bars. Take up grown up hobbies. A few dating websites now specialize in introducing younger women to older guys, so consider giving one a try.

Other People's Opinions

Bear in mind that if you and your new man have a noticeable age difference, people are going to talk.

His family may assume you're after his money, so prove to them that you're an independent, self-sufficient young woman. No matter how you really feel about your job, discuss it enthusiastically. If you have your own apartment, make a point of talking about plans to redecorate.

Your own family may worry that your man is taking advantage of you. Sit them down and explain to them that you realize there's an age difference, but you really like this guy. Assure them that they'll be the first people you turn to if anything does go wrong.

You may also find that friends, colleagues and even strangers judge you. Prove them all wrong by making your relationship work.

Common Interests

When you date guys your own age, you are likely to bond over your shared interests, tastes and childhood memories. Dating older men changes the rules. Instead of looking for things you have in common, share your different experiences. Introduce him to your favorite hobbies and movies, and show a genuine interest when he tells you all about his.

Remember that what's important is not shared interests, but shared outlooks. If you like quiet, relaxing weekends, look for a man who feels the same. If you love sports and adventures, you'll need somebody energetic.

Accept that all couples, regardless of age, need some separate interests and time apart. If he doesn't share your love of cocktails, go out with your girlfriends instead.

The Older Man for You

Older guys come with all sorts of benefits. Instead of a penniless kid who takes you for pizza then carves a new notch in his bedpost, you'll be dating a grown up. Your man is more likely to have a steady income and his own home. He's more likely to take you on sophisticated dates and make involving conversation. And, at the end of the evening, he's more likely to know the moves which really do put a smile on your face.

Don't let other people's opinions put you off. Only you know who and what can make you happy. If a mature man is the one for you, get out there and grab him.

Rick Freedom is an aspiring author and entrepreneur whose interests include communication, human relationships, love, dating and philosophy. For more dating advice, visit [http://www.i1datingadvice.com ](http://www.i1datingadvice.com/)

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Article comments

Michael
Michael · 9 years ago
Avoid, stay away from, ignore, run for the hills from Raven Boyd from VA, LA & FLA. She's a liar, a cheat, a scam artist, who is a liar and dates only men in their 40s-60s for financial gain, she loves no one, and tells everyone the exact same stories which are all lies

mia
mia · 13 years ago
Hi Rick, jus a quick question:- I am 30 this year and there is this guy who is 50 this year! Do the maths with the age :-)) Do you think that age gap is too big??

Annie
Annie · 14 years ago
Hi Rick, my boyfriend is 11 years older than me. I'm 27. He is a quiet man who only likes to do shopping,eating, movie and nothing else. He does not like sports and do not like to go to nature parks and beaches. Can you give me some ideas on what we can do together other than shopping,eating, movie?