By Pieter Gildenhuys

Hamburg, Germany

A fact about the lives that we lead is that our breathing for the most part is far more shallow and suppressed than we acknowledge. If you don't believe me try it out. Start bringing your attention more to your breathing during the day and soon you will notice how shallow you go. Especially when really focused mentally or plugged in emotionally. By 'plugged in' I mean someone has triggered a strong emotional response in you. If the response is very strong the bulk of that reACTion probably has more to do with a past event from childhood then the present day event. From early day's in our lives we tend to then lock the breath or hold it. Fear, anxiety and trepidation tend to influence our breathing in this way. The fact that we cannot live without oxygen for more than a few minutes indicates how important it is to breathe. Seeing that we can survive without food and water for much longer it then seems obvious that breathing is far more important than we acknowledge! Add to this the fact that we use a very small portion of our brain or mind and suddenly we can logically conclude that as a human potential and developmental tool the breath is simply magnificent! Especially when taken into consideration how beautifully the breath also impacts the heart and opens us up to so much more connection and love it seems clear that doing these breathwork sessions are a sure way of leading a richer more meaningful life. What also happens is that we become more peaceful and at ease with ourselves, our immune systems gain strength. This is ancient knowledge to the Indian yogi's and sages. It is also common knowledge to many professions where breath is important like singers, actors, sports professionals, yoga instructors. It is an old wisdom that to take deep breaths will settle your nerves before going on stage to deliver a speech. Now if we expand on this knowledge and take the breath a little further by consciously connecting our breath with a little more effort without pausing between in and exhale we get to a place that starts to open us up more to the content of our sub-conscious mind. The cells of our bodies start to release their so-called secrets!( Those of us who do not yet understand that emotion is stored all over the body please read Dr Candace Pert). We release old suppressed energy (much of it toxic and negative) while energizing with a lot of oxygen that invigorates and creates more self awareness. I work very gently by honoring your particular breathing style at the start so that you feel comfortable and in control. We are all controlling after all and the more fear you carry the more controlling you will be! Nothing wrong with that. We simply work with it instead of wresting your control away from you to impose a way of breathing that in my 12 years experience would in so many cases immediately bring up so much fear that I have then set up a struggle. This brings me to another well used phrase: We create externally how we are internally. If life is an internal struggle with thoughts, emotions and sensations then you are sure to be present to a lot of struggle out there in the world, your self created world! There are Rebirthers and Breathworkers who do this heavy handed style of forcing you to breath strictly and strongly and it is similar to your soul being raped (Thank you Joy Manne). People who are very tough on themselves and have no boundaries against abuse will be attracted to this style of Breathwork. It follows that those Rebirthers and Breathworkers who practice this style are projecting their own issues of having to make it ‘hard and strict’ onto clients who can then so easily lock up, go to sleep (checking out) or freak out in fear or terror. Then it becomes a drama and boy don't people just love drama! Then the work is wrongly seen as powerful because of the drama! True power is very gentle. My teacher taught me that and I will never forget it. Thanks Michael!

Sometimes though people do need a gentle nudge to move out of a stuck position! Truth processes are excellent at helping people to see their 'story'. There needs to be agreement from all the participants of a truth process as to what boundaries and rules we create. People need to feel safe to speak and also not be ‘dumped on’. My teaching was very clear on Personal Responsibility. Interactions between people become a joy when we own our own emotional reactions and projections. I teach people to own their emotions and not to blame their reactions on others. I heard someone talk of relationships as ‘projectionships’ and chuckled! How true! We project onto the world and others the content of our reality. If I love myself well and truly I walk through life with discernment and I can love where I want and also draw it into my life. Situations work out, synchronicity’s happen, people are kind and generally the world is a kind, wonderful place when I live from my heart and am connected to my soul (higher mind, essence) through my heart.

I also love to work with ‘Boundaries’. My years in a 12 step group taught me a lot about where I begin and you end. Loving myself by setting appropriate boundaries with others so that I can feel safe and thrive in my ability to take care of myself. Many of us grew up in family’s where our boundaries were not respected. It really shows out there in the world!

There are other topics surrounding Rebirthing Breathwork such as the different trauma’s that affect our lives: Birth, Death urge, Specific Negatives, School trauma, Religious trauma, Separation trauma and we could add more...these have been seen to be recurring themes in the work. Since discovering the work of Dr David R Hawkins and having traveled on my own journey now for more than 27 years I have personally come to see how my mind actually does not heal nearly as much as my surrendered life does. Surrendering to a higher power through feeling my feelings in PRESENCE and giving them up to God, The Universe, Source, Being, Essence, Krishna Etc. Is in my experience the way to go. The thinking was OK and natural as I was born into mentality and it served me well all my life although to be very honest my mind also did me a disservice! Oh yes! Remember the story of the Chinese farmer who just kept saying: "It could be good, it could be bad"? My mind also functioned in a way which kept me a slave to it! Obsessive thinking leading to compulsive behavior and an inability to feel as my head went into overdrive trying to solve life’s conundrums from there.

It needs mentioning too that we can also work from a perspective which let's go of the need to understand your past and get too much into the psychology of it all. How this would look is: The conscious, connected breathing will bring up thoughts, memories, emotions and sensations in the body. These experiences are simply welcomed, accepted (felt) and integrated without any psychological explanation. You then are operating more from a spiritual perspective beyond mind which includes forgiving yourself and others (if need be). The truth is that there are people who do not need the whole added psychological explanation which can be like a burden which could become another sidetrack to success and joy! So...on to some descriptions.

Possible scenario's during a Breathwork session

Scenario one:

A client came to see me suffering from depression. On questioning her I realize that she is not on medication however suffers from a low level of fairly constant despair, hopelessness and negative energy. Her energy level is low. This is slightly cyclical in nature. I explain to her that in many cases depression can be viewed as anger turned inward. In many cases we could call this depression emotional constipation and simple self judgment which meets ignorance about emotional processes and suppression of emotions. All of the above causes the mind body to shrink in energy with suppression of feelings coupled with self judgment and negativity. She is keen to end this way of living and embrace life more fully with vigor and zest. Encouraging her to follow her natural breathing cycle and to have no pause between in and exhale she does well initially . After a few minutes I ask her to increase the intake by twenty to thirty percent more. As soon as she needs to increase her intake she fades and would fall unconscious if I let her. We worked together at keeping her breathing in the session as her defence was to fall into unconsciousness, maybe so as not to face what was there. Through encouragement, patience and sustained inspiration she reaches a well of fury and empties that out. It astounds her as she was not aware that she was so angry.

It always needs to be emphasized how important it is for clients to feel free to express whatever is there. This is important initially especially for those of us who have many suppressed and hidden thoughts and feelings. (read: most of us!)

This is sometimes hard as there are so many negative judgments from society on the so-called bad or negative emotions like anger, shame, fear, guilt and even grief. At the beginning most clients are still suffering from the parental and societal hypnosis around feelings which are acceptable vs. those that cause too much discomfort for others. "It's just not nice or proper to act this way"!

She makes a lot of mental connections. One being the fact that for her it was impossible to express anger for her whole life as the mantra "good girls should not be angry" was instilled at an early age. At the end of the session she goes into a state which she later described like this: I had no needs, desires, wants or pain. I was profoundly at peace with all and had never experienced such a relaxed easy, incredible state...it was simply ineffable...like grace and love meeting space and peace!

A lot more happened in the session, however to describe it all would take pages.

This session was especially poignant because it quite graphically illustrates that if people are willing to face even some of their so called negative feelings the result is connection with what has always been there: Peace and quite, love and joy!

She came for many more sessions and felt that what was achieved was beyond price. A self education and inner journey home to who she really is without being depressed or negative. This not to say that there could again come a time when she feels low, lethargic or despairing. She would simply not have the same level or duration. Especially if she keeps up the education around her emotions, feelings, bodily sensations and thoughts.

Scenario two:

A client who thinks there is more to relating with her partner then they are currently experiencing wants to find out what can be done. She enters the session with the attitude of exploration and open mindedness although owns up to feeling quite anxious. Encouraging her to follow her natural breathing cycle and to have no pause between in and exhale she does well . After a few minutes I ask her to increase the intake by twenty to thirty percent more. Being quite mental in her life she sees during the sessions how much of her thinking is getting in the way and causing a cycle of fear, she experiences during the session a clear sense of how she thinks much more when she is afraid and tends to stay out of her heart and connected to worry and stress. I gently bring her back to the fear and remind her that it is JUST A FEELING and is OK to feel. She starts to feel cold and I encourage her to shake out the fear whilst remaining conscious of it leaving her. She sees how she thinks herself into fear and how this habit was formed in childhood partly due to her parents being quite aloof and causing anxiety in her by being distant. She was always told 'there is no reason to be afraid' when she spoke up about it however later realizes that emotions are not always rational and that her parents were trying to placate her while not taking her seriously. This mixed message as well as others connected to her parents inability to give her a healthy mirror for her feelings caused her to stop being in her heart as much and revert to a more thinking about her feelings rather than experiencing more of her feelings directly. She also connects her fear to her controlling nature. She connects the stress she feels with her partner, from her side, as the fear of loss turning into control which causes him to pull away as he senses her fear. She cries deeply in a release of the loss this has caused her in life and realizes that when she feels more and can share these feelings authentically without fearing her vulnerability, her partner is drawn to her as he softens and is led into his own feelings. She feels quite tired at the end however deeply grateful as well as inspired for her courage to FEEL these unowned old emotions which have been stockpiling and causing so much ongoing pain. She vows to watch her thinking, especially when she realizes an upset or can foresee a possible situation arising where she may start 'mentalizing' . She leaves feeling lighter, more at ease and relaxed, confident and released from a considerable amount of fear and grief. In ongoing sessions she feels more and more deeply into her heart, let's go of thinking as a compulsive act and makes way for 'space' from which her creative juices flow more readily. Looking back she admitted later: I thought my way through life whilst my heart was quietly waiting for consultation with all the wisdom and mystery that is so juicy!

Scenario three:

A guy came to see me with as he put it: A generous amount of anger and aggression which stops his progress at work as people are weary of him. He realizes that it causes separation and pain for him with a number of people he loves. He starts breathing really fully and strongly in the prescribed manner . His body starts to stiffen around the hands, jaw and legs after twenty minutes. A tingling sensation spreads all over. I assure him that these feelings are nothing to be concerned about under the circumstances and to try to accept what is happening without fighting. He does not believe me and resists the feelings until he is in tremendous pain through taut muscles. I ask him to check in who he is angriest with in his family and to express his rage about what happened. I ask him to give himself full permission to feel this here and now in a safe space. I tell him I am OK with his rage and look forward actually to the expression of it. He roars and bellows into a towel on the count of three and goes wild for some time. He later feels euphoric at the notion that he is not bad or wrong, guilty or disturbed because he feels rage. He realizes that historically he felt minimized and ridiculed. As this caused his strength to erode it brought a feeling of powerlessness and hence anger. I explain that anger of that nature is reactionary and a secondary emotion. I explain further that the anger is used as an effective defense in youth (and old age for that matter!). Underneath the anger is the real gold. There lies the pain, anxiety, shame and sadness of the young boy, carried into adulthood. He realizes that to really shift he needs to feel underneath the anger and allow the sadness, fear, pain and shame to surface. As he remains present to those feelings they dissipate. He has a profound understanding of how he was victimized as a child and carried that on into adulthood. He understands that most of the time when he is angry he is triggered into his little boy who feels powerless and then rages over the pain in order to numb out the pain as well as put forth a very powerful deterrent to anyone who dare push him further! He is astounded by the new found education of his emotional life and realizes how wonderful and alive he feels by actually not RE(en)ACTING OUT his child but feeling the fullness of what is there, accepting reality and feeling so much more peace and tranquility in the knowledge that his feelings are good to feel. Over time he learns more about dealing with his feelings responsibly as an adult. He later described himself as so much more gentle, centered and in touch with his truth and heart.

I explain to clients as their history comes up that the work is not about blaming anyone or having to speak your whole truth with them in order to serve yourself in a selfish way. The work is there to increase success, love and connection with family, friends, acquaintances and work mates, not create more division, disconnection and ill will!

In all of these sessions a lot more happened however it would be a very long essay describing the nuances and activities that make up a session. I hope the above gives you some idea!