End the Plague of Boring Weddings

FamilyMarriage

  • Author Gilbert Russell
  • Published April 15, 2010
  • Word count 595

How many times have you been to a formulaic wedding where the prime interest is the three course dinner and the beauty of the bride?

Boring.

I went to a wedding with my girlfriend a few months ago. It was a very lavish affair held at a hotel outside of the city. The wedding ceremony was held in a separate wing of the hotel and then we moved to the large reception room for dinner.

We ate salmon entrée, followed by Filet Mignon and finally wedding cake for desert.

After which point we did a toast, heard speeches, and then drunkenly squashed ourselves onto the few tiles of dance floor to dance along to the DJ’d hip hop and pop music.

After this seven hour bonanza of watching, waiting, photos, toasting, drinking, and eating, I felt ready to go home and left with little feeling of having celebrated a personal event but rather something more akin to attending a soulless Darling Harbour affair.

I know that the family must’ve spent at least 30k to ‘entertain’ us that day.

I couldn’t help feeling sympathy for all their hard earned efforts when both my girl and I agreed that it was ‘nothing special’.

So, I know this sounds crazy – but my curiosity has led me to do a little research on the matter and here is what I have come up with. Also, maybe then I won’t feel like I’ve lost another 7 hours of my life merely waiting around and getting drunk.

Here are some ideas on how to have a bit of fun with the ‘best day of your life’.

Have a Goth Wedding – it doesn’t have to be tacky to be badass.

Find an interesting location for the wedding: historic places, old cemeteries, a stone archway

Think cheap and international – New Orleans, Bulgaria, Hungary, Transylvania, the Czech Republic – all these places offer loads of alternative history and culture without the big dollars

Check out the gorgeous dress (above) worn by a Goth sweetheart in New Orleans. All class if you ask me.

Have a Farm Wedding /Wedding in the Vineyards

Go for a road trip with your honey and scout out small boutique farms and wineries that have an entrepreneurial edge.

Sure they’ll be happy to drag out the trestle tables to host your pagan feast!

Go on a Cruise

This is more expensive but very memorable.

For those living in Sydney, ever noticed that gorgeous wooden ship tooling around the harbor? The Bounty and the James Cook both rent out their ships for private weddings. For an extra fee you can even sleep overnight with the crew on hammocks and watch the stars o’erhead at the end of the event.

Host an Australian Wedding

We're in Oz, let's play it up.

How 'bout a horse ride to a treebark camp in the Outback?

The brilliant stars unwashed by the city lights should wow your guests and initiate many to the oft-forgotten joys of this wild homeland.

Get married Barefoot on the Beach

Ahh, yes, remember that?

And the fine white sand of Australian beaches, I must attest, is much more lovely than that of Hawaii.

Go to Noosa with a wedding package or if you’re not into wedding receptions, find a master of ceremonies and hit a private beach on your own.

Lastly, don’t forget the joys of dancing!

Make sure to book or build a great BIG dance floor and a brilliant live band to really make your lads and lasses happy.

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