Getting Your Ex Husband Back
- Author Scott Olewiler
- Published June 3, 2010
- Word count 542
Once the divorce is final you may believe it is too late to save the relationship and work things out with your ex. Often times divorces happen quickly when emotions are high and sometimes neither party really wants the marriage to end, but they believe there is no other solution. This simply is not true. Many marriages have been saved after a divorce, and yours may be one of them.
Before making any attempt to get back with your ex husband, take some time and really analyze the situation. Was he ever mean to you or abusive? Are there things he does that you simply can not tolerate moving forward, or do you now realize that you overreacted? Can you live with him if he doesn't change anything about himself? Because he may not.
Make sure that you're sure before putting any effort back into this relationship. Because it may take quite bit of work on your part to get back an ex husband. Be prepared for a long haul in some cases.
First things first: if you're in the process now of pestering him to give it another go, knock it off. I mean stop today and leave him alone for awhile. Nothing turns a normal man off more than a woman who appears to be needy. Men enjoy spending time with a confident woman, not one who seems to be headed for nervous breakdown every other day. So get some control over yourself.
Secondly, and this is a tough one, start analyzing the relationship from the point of view of everything that you may have done wrong. Make list of things that you have done wrong and what you should have done instead. Do not share this list with your ex. And if you've been apologizing for some of those things stop doing that also. Men react to actions more than words.
If you feel that it's necessary to apologize for something very horrendous in order to get your ex to even speak with you then by all means do it, but don't dwell on it and under no circumstances expect forgiveness as it's probably not coming anytime soon. But it will come. Do not ask for it either. It needs to be completely from him if it is to be genuine.
Before you spend anytime with him you need to remember what kind of woman he fell in love with originally. Are you still that woman? What has changed? How can you become that woman again? When you are communicating with him or spending time with him, you need to be that woman again. Not the ex wife who wants him back, but the woman he originally fell in love with.
He needs to be reminded through actions, not words, why he fell in love with you in the first place. This is just the first step in getting your ex back; reintroducing your ex to the woman he fell in love with. He if fell in love with you once, he can fall in love with you again. Chances are that he's never stopped loving you, only that there has been enough hurt along the way to bury that love. That love may just need a new start.
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