If you're a father who is fighting a restraining order during a divorce case, practically the worst thing that can happen next is to be accused of a violation of that order. To sum it up bluntly, if you're accused of violating the terms and conditions of an order once it's been served against you, there's a good chance you'll be arrested and thrown in jail.

Of course, if you actually do violate the restraining order terms, we're looking at proper jail time and maybe ending up paying a fine for the privilege. This can affect your job, your home and your possessions, and can be used as evidence against you in a custody case. The standard argument is that it shows you are an unfit parent. If you lose your income, it will show the court that you can't provide a stable financial environment for your kids (that's why fathers who need to work with firearms are especially vulnerable to being accused of phony restraining order violations, because it stops them from carrying out their duties at work and they may end up getting fired).

Even if there isn't a lot of evidence at the time, law enforcement officers tend to "act now, ask questions later".

Even if the claims are totally without merit, you may "just" end up in a cell for a few hours before the story gets straightened out. In the meantime, there's a good chance your reputation will be in tatters - police officers won't care if you're in the middle of a restaurant eating dinner, or at your job, when they take you in.

Basically, if you're completely innocent but think you might be accused of violating a restraining order, you should still be extremely worried. The old argument "if you haven't done anything you don't have to worry" doesn't hold true in this case. In that situation, you need to consider your options, and begin collecting evidence in your favor (some examples are telephone bills, store receipts, names of witnesses who will testify in your favor).

Another important element is that you should begin to educate yourself on your own rights in the case where your ex begins to harass YOU. It's a common tactic used during divorce cases so that she can accuse you of a violation of the restraining order. The important thing to remember is that as long as you stick by the rules, in the end you can win the custody case.

An example of where you would NOT be in violation of the restraining order is that you bump into your ex at the store. If you spot her first, you need to leave immediately. If you see each other at the same time, but she begins to shout and block you from the exit, you are still within the terms of the rules.

More importantly, fathers often forget their own rights in those situations. If you ever feel threatened or harassed yourself, you should call the police. Just because you are fighting a restraining order during divorce proceedings doesn't mean that your own rights cease to exist.