I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business

partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published

books. All this experience has resulted in the development of a

profound healing process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can

learn and use throughout the day (free course available - see

resource box at the end of the article). The first step of this

process is willingness.

We cannot begin a journey without our willingness to do so.

Without our willingness to do whatever it takes to heal, we

will not begin the journey of healing and evolving our soul.

Doing whatever it takes means that we are ready and willing to

feel, learn about and take full responsibility for our own

feelings - our own pain, fear, anger, hurt, aloneness,

loneliness, disappointment, depression, sense of safety, worth,

lovability and joy. Willingness means that we are ready to

become aware of creating our own feelings with our thoughts,

beliefs and actions. It means we are willing to face whatever

it is we fear in order to heal the beliefs causing the fear.

Willingness means that we choose to be courageous and face our

demons - the shadow side of ourselves about which we do not

want anyone to know. It means that we are ready to move out of

denial about the pain we are in, ready to stop hiding from

ourselves. Willingness means that we are ready to become aware

of how much we want control over our pain, over others, and

over the outcome of things. Until we are ready to see, without

judgment, how deeply we want to control everything, and all the

overt and subtle ways we try to have control, we cannot choose

to open.

Willingness means that we are ready to ask for help from a

spiritual source of strength, and from others who can bring us

love to help us heal. It means that we are ready to acknowledge

that we cannot find our safety without spiritual guidance - that

we are ready to invite Spirit into our heart to nurture and

guide us. It means that we have embraced the journey, the

sacred privilege of learning about love upon this planet.

We cannot move into the next step of the Inner Bonding process,

the intent to learn about what we are thinking or doing to cause

our pain until we are willing to move out of denial regarding

our inner distress. As long as we are in denial about our pain,

we will not recognize that we have inner pain and may not be

motivated to learn about it. Our denial is one of the ways we

are protecting against pain. We may not be willing to move out

of denial until loving ourselves and others is more important

than avoiding our pain.

Willingness means that you pay attention to the physical

sensations within your body. You cannot know if you are

believing or behaving in ways that are hurting you if you are

unwilling to feel what is going on within your body. Feelings

of pain, anger, anxiety, hurt, fear, and loneliness are

physical sensations that occur within the body. When you numb

your body with substances or shut out your inner experience

with manipulations and activities, you cannot know what you are

feeling.

We put ourselves on a new path toward our own wholeness when we

become willing to feel our pain and learn from it.