Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger And Wiser In Your Years

FamilyElderly Care

  • Author William Defoore
  • Published July 2, 2007
  • Word count 1,206

Elegant Aging is truly a matter of body, mind, emotion and spirit.

When we pay loving attention to those four aspects of our being, we age with elegance and grace. First, let's look at what we do with the idea of "aging" and "old" in our minds.

Attitudes About Aging

When we were young we wanted to be older, and when we get older we want to be young. What's wrong with that picture? Aging is inevitable, and as the saying goes, it's much better than the alternative. Aging is living; it starts at birth and ends when we die. Anti-aging is actually anti-living. The word "age" comes from the Latin root "alo," which means "to nourish, to bring up." More generally, "alo" means to strengthen, increase and advance-to become taller and deeper. So why not age with elegance, grace and style? Why not make up your mind to strengthen, increase and advance-to become deeper and wiser with every new day, week, month and year? A Yale study in 2002 demonstrated that, "Thinking positively about getting older extends one's life by seven-and-one half years-which is more than the longevity gained from low blood pressure or low cholesterol or by maintaining a healthy weight, abstaining from smoking and exercising regularly." Researcher Becca Levy and associates found that lower body mass, not smoking and regular exercise extended life by one to three years.This validates what Dr. Paul Pearsall says in his book Superimmunity, "How you feel about your health is more important than what you do about it."

Stay Connected

Think of the people you know who are vibrant, energetic and productive well into their seventies, eighties and nineties. These are your role models, the elders and sages of your community. Hang around them, notice how they think, eat, act and exercise. Notice what they do in their relationships. You will see that they are not perfect by any means, but they are definitely involved in life.Unplugging from people and life processes accelerates the decline of health in aging. Stay connected and get involved, and you will find yourself feeling younger and more energetic as a result. This culture that worships youth and beauty will not necessarily welcome you with open arms. Do it anyway. There are more of us elegantly aging today than ever before in human history. We can make a huge positive difference in the world by refusing to buy the negative program about aging and staying fit, happy, productive and involved as long as we possibly can. One of the best things you can do is find someone to take care of. Perhaps an elderly person or a child in your community could use your help. This is one of the best ways to stay connected and involved. Volunteer your services.

Become Magnificent As You Age

Consider that the aging process is perfectly designed to make you magnificent. Feeling great and doing well when you're young is the proverbial "piece of cake" (you can eat as many as you like). The reality of the aging process requires that we either get smarter and stronger or we buckle under the weight of a negative aging process. You get to choose!Use the challenge of aging to become like the oak tree, deeper and stronger with every passing year. Add to that the wisdom of your life experience, and you have the makings of magnificence! The effort it takes for you to stay fit, active and involved is good for you. The effort it takes to stay mentally alert, connected and informed is good for you. If aging weren't so challenging, we could stay lazy and mediocre and get away with it. So you see, the challenges built in to the aging process are perfectly designed to help you become the best you can possibly be.And the rewards are tremendous. You know what I'm talking about. You have seen the looks of deep peace and joy in the eyes of those who are aging elegantly. The capacity for love, understanding, peace and compassion are greater as we age, when we make choices that take us in that direction.

Think on these things:

  1. No one really dies of "old age," because it is not an illness. Old age can be a time of joy, freedom and peace.

  2. What you have been led to believe about aging is primarily negative. Don't buy the program.

  3. Be a rebel. Be outrageous. Be ecstatically eccentric. Be creative. Be the person you have dreamed of being.

  4. Be gentle with yourself as you challenge yourself to do something you've never done before. And hang in there.

  5. Remember that your body is an amazing self-healing organism. Your capacity for self-healing is far greater than you have been led to believe.

  6. Your attitude, your beliefs and daily thoughts about your body, mind and aging process determine your health and well being to a much greater extent than you have ever imagined.

  7. Consider what you've heard all your life about "the will to live." We learned as children about people dying when they shouldn't have because they lacked it. We also learned about people living when they weren't supposed to because they had it. How strong is your "will to live?" Strengthen it by putting as much joy and love into your life as possible.

  8. Start today "finding the good" in yourself and the world around you. This is the absolutely all-time best thing you can do to insure a healthy, happy aging process. Become a Goodfinder and practice the Art of Appreciation.

  9. There is no doubt that those who have a strong spiritual faith get sick less often, recover more quickly, and live longer happier lives. We need a positive spiritual belief system as much as we need food, air and water. 10. If you have a strong, uplifting spiritual focus, build and maintain it. If you don't, start looking until you find the beliefs and practices that work the best for you.

Create A Positive Vision Of Yourself As You Age With Elegance

You know the picture of aging that you don't want? Loss of mental and physical function, isolation and total painful decline. Not a pretty picture. You do not have to go quietly into that dark night! Yet, if you have a negative program going about aging and don't take care of yourself, that may be exactly where you end up. So, here's a better choice:Establish a vision of your future self smiling, breathing deeply and energetically engaged in your life in multiple ways. See yourself as you want to be. Visualize yourself exercising, eating well, engaged in activities and laughing with friends. Feel the emotions that go with this. Believe it. Make up your mind that is where you're going. Look forward to it. Expect it. Get specific and clear about your vision. Set clear goals for your physical, financial, intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth. Keep a journal, and write about your current life as if you had already reached all of your goals. Feel it. See it. This is your capacity to create your own reality. You can do it. You can make it happen. You have everything you need to create the life you want for yourself.

William DeFoore, Ph.D. is a counselor, speaker and coach who conducts workshops on anger management and emotional intelligence in personal and business relationships. Get information, watch videos and buy books, CDs and downloads at www.defoore.com.

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