I Bid You Adieu: Leaving a Relationship Gracefully
- Author Frank Jvanderlugt
- Published October 10, 2007
- Word count 608
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you just need to say "I bid you adieu" to a relationship in your life. It’s never easy to end a relationship, but you can do your best to bow out gracefully. Rather than taking revenge, living the best life you can will be its own revenge in the end and you’ll feel better about going out with style.
When you’re trying to exit a relationship, be honest with the other individual. Some people try to give various excuses, thinking that it will be easier on the other person. At one point or another, most people have heard a variation of the "it’s not you, it’s me" end.
You don’t need to go through a long, drawn out list of why you want out of the relationship, but honesty will be better in the end for both you and the other person. Treat the other individual with dignity and respect. You can be gentle, but be honest.
Ending a relationship should be done in person if at all possible. Don’t end a relationship by phone, email, or other media unless there is some compelling reason to do so. You owe the other individual the respect of telling them in person. You can prepare the individual in advance by telling him or her that you need to talk about the relationship.
You should think about where the encounter will take place and consider the other person’s feelings. It’s often best if you can talk to them privately, but in a place where you can leave. If you live together, have another place that you can go to whether it’s a friend’s house or a hotel.
Some individuals end a relationship but give the impression that there is still a possibility for reconciliation because they think it will be easier for the other person. In reality, the opposite is true. You’ll do far more harm to the individual by allowing them to think that there is still a chance for the relationship.
Instead, you need to make it clear that for you, the relationship is done. Avoid backing down even if the other person begs or cries for another chance. Try to make sure that you don’t leave room for doubt. Having this information may be difficult for the other individual now, but it will also allow them to move on more quickly.
Avoid dragging out the interaction any longer than is necessary. You’ve said what you came to say. Once you’ve finished, it’s time to leave the situation. You don’t want to get into an endless discussion of the relationship or why you are leaving.
Once you’ve ended the relationship, you need to be careful not to do anything that will give mixed signals to the individual. If you want a divorce, file for one within a reasonable amount of time rather than waiting for the other person to be ok with it. If you are dating someone, try to leave them alone without contact from you.
It can be easy to give someone mixed signals because you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. However, this can be very counterproductive and lead to many more problems down the road.
When you decide to say "I bid you adieu" to a relationship, do everything you can to end it gracefully. Although it can be hard, you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll help the other individual move one if you are honest but firm with them about your decision.
Frank j Vanderlugt owns and operates http://www.ibidyou.com 2 Ibidyoucom
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