It has become a common practice to hire divorce counsellors to help in the process of divorce.

Usually when big law firms handle divorce cases, divorce counsellors are automatically attached to the case. But, sometimes a couple needs to hire a divorce counsellor to provide professional advice in the legal, emotional, financial and social fields of divorce. Divorce counselling is a process whereby trained and skilled cognitive behavioural therapists help clients to get through the process of divorce smoothly. Divorce counsellors are generally skilled in the legal and emotional therapy field.

In short, the aim of divorce coounselling is to ensure that divorces are not impeded. They get resolved and the client is able to move forward. In fact, divorce counselling plays a major role in the successful completion of a divorce case. Divorce counselling ensures the complete satisfaction of the client during and after the divorce.

It helps people find realistic solutions to divorce issues. It involves getting to the underlying problems of relationship breakdown. Divorce counsellors depend on the cooperation of the client for successful operation. Divorce counselling encourages them to talk frankly verbalising the problem. It urges clients to consider all the available options and make appropriate changes. A divorce counsellor will usually ask questions such as:

• Where is it you’re stuck?

• What might you do to move yourself forward?

• What else do you need to do?

Divorce counsellors work with the client either face-to-face or through the telephone. The cognitive behavioural approaches used by divorce counsellors include:

• Behavioural Mentoring or Consulting -- This approach involves helping the clients on legal matters of divorce. The counsellor enacts the role of a mentor guiding the clients to resolution of legal problems.

• Behavioural Challenging -- This method involves direct and open communication. The counsellor has to encourage the client to verbalise the problem, put it in importance. The counsellor has to advise and guide the client to weigh the importance of the issue, solve it and move ahead.

• Behavioural Motivation -- This approach works on the psyche of the clients. The counsellor has to motivate them and satisfy their ego. Generally, this involves telling the client that they are heroes and role models as they have survived and thrived through a difficult divorce.

• Behavioural Support -- This is cognitive behavioural therapy on the emotional side. Here, the counsellor helps the client to deal with emotional issues of divorce to emerge a stronger and confident person.

This helps clients to see and weigh carefully the different options that are available. Divorce counselling helps the client make an educated choice and decision. It encourages clients to choose those options, which are realistic and will work for them. Divorce counseelling is not about cushioning or protecting the client. It is about making clients aware of their responsibilities and realities of divorce.

Thus, it becomes important to choose the right type of divorce counsellor. The UK Law Society states that it is advisable to hire divorce lawyers who are licensed but it is not mandatory.

Professional Experience and Training: It is recommended that the divorce counsellor chosen is skilled in the practices of mediation and negotiation. It is also advisable to choose divorce counsellors who have had professional experience of successfully counselling divorce cases earlier. Usually divorce counsellors are also solicitors. This proves highly beneficial for the clients. All legal and emotional issues are settled by the same third party.

Always ensure that you select a divorce counsellor who is trained in staying neutral during disagreements. This means that there is no attempt to guide the conversation in a certain manner to 'fix' the relationship. The right divorce counsellor helps clients to resolve all conflicts during the divorce in a fair and civilized manner.

Knowledge of Family Law and Children’s Issues: It is imperative that the divorce counsellor be aware and posses solid background of family law practices. The counsellor should be able to decipher and comprehend for the client hidden meaning of diverse law principles. Related to this aspect is that the counsellor should also have knowledge about child custody matters. A divorce counmsellor must be able to resolve custody conflicts. He/ she should keep the child and client interest at heart.

Trustworthiness: A divorce counsellor should be chosen and hired by both partners. They should feel comfortable with the divorce counsellor. There should be no embarrassment in talking and arguing before the counsellor. It is better for the counsellor to see the divorced couple in action showing their true colours, hatred and anger. It aids the counsellor in giving the best counsel possible.