Usually, the custodial mother experiences a steep drop in the standard of living. Economic difficulties have deep psychological impact.

Apart from this, divorce necessitates a battle with loneliness and insecurity. Even in bad marriages, tackling difficulties of family life are a combined responsibility. The consequences of a vanished safety net are bound to strike at the psychological level. These are the sequences that follow an uncontested divorce. A contested divorce inflicts much more suffering. Along with all the negative repercussions you would also have to wrestle with feelings of guilt-induced pain and simmering bitterness. No divorcing person would ever like to subject themselves to such grief.

Contested Divorce and Feelings of Stress

Contested divorces occur when you and your spouse are not able to reach an accord over varied divorce-related issues. Invariably these conflict-generating issues relate to splitting of assets and fight for the custodial rights of children. Avoid such an occurrence by seeking help of mediators, divorce counsellors, etc.

However, if you have already divorced and fought bitterly in the court room, then it is quite possible that you would be grappling with unhappy feelings. Lingering anger, self-doubt and feelings of remorse are some of the emotions that surface in the post-divorce phase. In such a scenario, the common human tendency is to whip oneself up with negative self-talk. Remember that subjecting yourself to such undue grief is of no use. The past is over and cannot be changed. Keep yourself so busy that such unwelcome intruding thoughts would be kept at bay.

Be Physically Active

Join yoga classes. They not only make you physically fit, they also leave you with a ‘feel good factor.’ They improve the mood and reduce depression. It has been clinically proved that practising yogic postures for half an hour everyday, improves mental and physical agility.

However, if you are not comfortable with indoor activities like yoga, you have many other options to choose from. Join a gym. Good workouts have similarly satisfying effects. If possible, go for long beach walks. The blue waters have a soothing effect. Redevelop your old interests. You might not have had much time for hobbies, when married. If you enjoy reading, nothing can invigorate you like a pleasant book after dinner. Such activity gives you a healthy body and a healthy mind. Next, make efforts to seek a good job, especially if you have been hitherto unemployed.

A Demanding Job

If you are unemployed, seeking out a job should be on top of your priority list. Refresh your skills and start off with smaller jobs if you find it difficult to get good jobs initially. You can elevate your position gradually. An intellectually satisfying job will keep you engaged. At the end of the day, your productivity and achievement will make you happy. Nothing can match the satisfaction and happiness you would experience upon getting your pay check.

Part of the divorce-related stress occurs due to your lack of control over the happenings. A good occupation will give you financial independence. This will give you more control over the situation you are in. A job you like coupled with good physical activity will help restore balance in your emotional state. You will come back to complete normalcy, if you begin seeking help from outside quarters.

Help from External Sources

Do not hesitate to join divorce support groups. These groups have members who have gone through similar experiences. These caring people understand your deep pain. The seminars and workshops they conduct alleviate the pain you feel.

Keep yourself socially active. After divorce, quite a few people withdraw. Do not make this mistake. Continue friendship. Especially old and good friends and kindly family members are of much help in such troubled times. Once you are back to your old happy self, you can begin dating. The troubled past would soon be history.

With the emotional load off your mind, and with heightened self-confidence entailed by the job, you can begin enjoying life in the post-divorce phase. Go out on dates and seek fresh relationships. However, exercise care not to enter into hasty decisions for remarriage. Marriages on the rebound fail. Enjoy your new-found freedom and remarry if you meet a suitable partner.