I would like to introduce myself as Jessica Lawrence and I work as a journalist in one of the prime magazines in the UK. Last month, I had taken up a rare assignment on covering divorce trends in the UK.

I was given the liberty to write on any aspect of it as long it attracts large readership for the magazine. The topic that I chose was that of ‘Myths that were prevalent within Divorce’. I decided to set out and explore these facts for myself. I am not sure as to how these myths came around, but I was determined to see the truth behind them. I wanted to base all my findings on statistics than just accept what is passed by word of mouth. Here we go.

Myth 1: Women Suffer more Emotional Damage from Divorce than Men

It is said that divorce actually relives people of stress in a bad marriage. However, it has been found that it actually produces chronic stress than those staying within marriage. In a prominent report co-authored by Fred Lorenz who hails from one of the famous universities in this world, though divorce did not produce any serious aftermath effects on physical health, it had serious effects on mental health.

According to him, women tend to lose more after a divorce than the husband. They reported seven percent higher levels of psychological stress than their counterparts within marriage. The prolonged distress resulted in thirty seven percent of the women complaining of physical illness after a decade. Most of the women who were interviewed as part of the study were mothers of adolescents.

According to Lorenz, some of the other conditions that contributed towards increased emotional damage were due to social isolation and lesser job opportunities for these women. In majority of the cases women were trapped in a vicious circle of financial problems which eventually led to insecurity and fears of survival.

I also recently came across a news article which stated that men who have divorced are likely to commit suicide 2.5 times more than those who are still within marriage. This can be accounted for a changing trend.

The results of this study which was conducted for over ten years were published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

Myth 2: Ex-spouses are always Hostile and Angry with Each Other and Cannot Get Along Well

Believe it or not, this was true in the last two decades or so. I made a personal attempt to interview divorcees, refer old archive material from the Internet and of course went about doing a little bit of research on my own in the library. In majority of cases, I did find that hostile relationship existed between ex-spouses. However, the good news is that this trend has taken an absolute u-turn and is proceeding towards the better state. With more of divorce counselors stepping into the divorce arena, there is a drastic change in the way people have started looking at divorce and post divorce relationships.

People have started realizing the importance of their children’s future and are very keen to ensure their mental well-being. They have started placing their children’s interest right in front and have set apart their ego to go about providing their children with the same love and affection even after divorce.

Moreover, the laws of the country have realized that it is necessary that both the parents take equal interest in the child’s future. It is for the same reason that visitation rules have been clearly laid out.

Myth 3: After Divorce, Men are Eager to Remarry while Women are Not so Keen

I thought men were intelligent enough in not committing the same mistake twice. But I was thoroughly mistaken. Anyway, jokes apart, it has been found that nearly 80% of the men re-marry immediately after a divorce. And, more often, this happens within three years after securing their divorce. But the startling part is that their women divorce counterparts also resort to marrying after their divorce and their percentage equally matches their male counterparts.

However, one also needs to keep in mind that this trend is happening of late after the growth and rise in the media. The Internet in particular has influenced the way people think and react.

Divorce Myths: The Final Call

In my opinion, I would rather suggest that people do not get mislead by these myths to determine what they want out of life. Myths are what people believe and they are subjective. They are passed on down the ages and are bound to be wrong.

For instance, if there is a myth that women don’t remarry after divorce, please do not go by this opinion. Decide for yourself as to what may be right or wrong for you. After all, you would be the best person to decide on what is really best for you. Take people’s decision. But let it be you who makes that final call.