Attempted Reconciliation

My dad came armed with his own arsenal of justifications. He knew what to expect from me. I hadn't planned anything specific to confront him on--I didn't need to, I had a whole list of offenses I could whip out at any given moment. So, the weekend progressed--awkwardly, but quietly.

I had no idea that Spirit was about to move in on us in a powerful way. I simply invited two gentlemen friends over for lunch. They lead a prayer group I attended and I hoped they would "say something" important to my dad. If not, it was a way to let others meet my dad and see the man who had so wounded me.

We were sitting around my dining room table when one gentleman began telling the story of a young soldier in Napoleon's army who had gone A.W.O.L., been caught and was now about to face the firing squad. This young man's mother came to Napoleon and pleaded for mercy for her son. Napoleon replied, "He doesn't deserve mercy," to which the mother implored, "But, sir, if he deserved it, it wouldn't be mercy!" At that, Napoleon allowed the boy to live. After telling this story, the gentleman said, "I have no idea why I told that story. It just came into my head."

God's Answer to a Prayer

As he had been speaking, I felt the strangest sensation of heat come over my head and into my chest. Without wavering, I said, "I know why you told that story." I turned toward my dad and gently said, "Dad, when mom was dying, I felt that God was being very unfair. So I asked Him what He had to say about the situation. Would you like to hear what God had to say about you and mom?" The room was very quiet. I could tell that my dad was afraid to know. But, after a few moments he indicated that he would.

I felt the heat increasing as I reached deep into my soul for those words, "He said, 'I could not heal your mother, because she would not forgive. But I see the wounds upon your father's heart, and I have pity on him.'" In the moment I spoke those words, the power of Spirit hit both of us "like lightening."

We stood up, pushed our chairs back from the table and fell into each others arms, sobbing. After quite a while of crying and kissing, we sat down again. Even the two gentlemen present were crying! I realized that I could not remember even one of my dad's offenses on my "list." The whole list was erased from my memory--and sixteen years later, it is still gone!

Daughter/Dad Relationship Redefined

From that day on, my dad and I have had a relationship that is far beyond mere "reconciliation" or "recovery." We never had a relationship like this before--ever! This is a totally new relationship! We talk on the phone every weekend, we plan visits around special holidays, and we go to conferences together. Where before my dad had been closed to the "things of the Spirit," due to the wounding caused by my own judgmentalism and legalism, now he is hungry for more. Right away my dad began having powerful dreams which he KNEW were from God. He shares these dreams with me and we discuss their possible meanings.

In the 16 years since this story took place, my Dad has become my very best friend and confidant. We share our lives, our dreams and our entire spiritual journey with each other. We love sharing our story with others and many have rekindled hope for reconciliation with a family member from our candle of love.

Copyright (c) 2008 Rebecca Hanson