Marriage, first and foremost, demands loyalty and commitment of the partners to each other. Both of them are not supposed to have any physical, romantic or intimate relations with anybody else outside the wedlock. Whenever one is in need, the other has to provide a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on. They are not expected to desert each other even in the greatest of difficulties.

The partners merge all their finances, savings and earnings and use the corpus to buy assets such as car, house, white goods, furniture and so on to improve their lifestyle and living standard. They go vacationing together and socialize and entertain each other’s friends. They attend all social events such as marriages, birthdays and get-togethers as one inseparable family unit. The spouses have children and share the responsibility of fulfilling the latter’s needs and aspirations so that they can grow up to be productive and successful members of the society.

Marriage also has legal and social implications. It is a legally protected relationship where the individuals have clearly defined rights and obligations as well as rules of behaviour. If you want to untie the knot, you have to follow a clearly laid down legal procedure that takes into account things such as a fair division of family assets and liabilities between the partners, custody and arrangements regarding children, and maintenance payable to wife for her and the children’s upkeep after divorce.

Marriage is thus a very strong bond that affects you profoundly from all angles – emotional, legal, social, financial and physical. Its breakup has drastic implications for people. Many are unable to transition smoothly from married to divorced status and go into depression. Others get a shock and vow never to get married again. Quite a few take their separation from their children very badly. Marriage and divorce are clearly no laughing matters.

However, extra-marital affairs are something that disintegrates many marriages. Infidelity has become quite a serious and common problem today that leads many people to divorce. There are many opportunities in the modern world to have new romantic interests outside of marriage. There are quite a few places such as offices, supermarkets and health clubs where people of opposite gender intermingle freely. They see each other, human chemistry kicks into action, sparks fly and soon many of them find themselves romantically involved.

Once you have an extra-marital affair as a married person, the biggest decision you have to take is: how far do you want to go? Should you file for divorce papers and go with the new partner? Is it worth breaking your years-old marriage and inflict emotional turmoil on your spouse and children so that you can have the pleasure of wading into the uncertain waters of a new relationship? There are many things you have to consider before you can answer these questions.

Divorce will shake up your entire life. Can you bear to uproot everything that you have put together painstakingly over the last so many years? How will you cope with the division of your assets between you and your spouse as well as the legal costs involved in fighting a messy court case? How will your children cope with parental breakup? More importantly, how will you cope if you do not get child custody or if you become a single parent? How will the kids be impacted emotionally? Will they blame you for the rest of their lives? After divorce, you may have to move out of the family home and look for alternate accommodation, which will add to expenses.

You also have to consider the possibility that the new relationship may not work out for you and after a few months you may find yourself neither here nor there. What if your affair is based on mere infatuation and physical attraction which may not last beyond a few months? What if the relationship breaks after one year and you again have to spend money in court proceedings for divorce? What if your financial assets get divided again by the court between you and your new partner? What if you or your partner becomes pregnant as the divorce looms ahead? What will be the implications of this?

Whatever decision you have to take, you should take it with a cool head, and not with raging hormones. Divorce is something that is going to end one chapter in your life and begin another, for good or worse. You have to be fully prepared for the aftermath.