Contested divorces thus turn expensively painful. They involve long-drawn court battles. The bitter court battles continue at the home front. Children - the silent spectators - suffer the most.

All divorcing couples unanimously conflict on certain issues pertaining to:

• Child custodial rights

• Division of property

• Child maintenance money and monetary settlement

• Division of debts

• Pet custodial rights

If the separating couple is not able to amicably resolve these issues the divorce turns contested. Legal intervention is required to seek a settlement. This necessitates the hiring of individual solicitors.

To prevent such negativity, arbitration and mediation services try to help couples resolve their issues of conflict. If both the spouses are able to reach an agreement, the divorce turns uncontested.

Uncontested divorces are simple and inexpensive. Apart from its economical nature, such divorces do not violate the dignity of the separating couple. Such divorces are speedily granted by the courts and they ensure lasting cordial relationship between the divorced partners.

Do Uncontested Divorces Fare Better on Children?

The major beneficiaries of uncontested divorces are children. Uncontested divorces eliminate conflict.

• Children are mostly affected by the conflict between parents for they deeply love both.

• The tension-free scenario ensures that children can safely express and receive the love of either parent.

• Continuing love and affection of both the parents ensures their emotional stability.

• The cost saved on the legal front can be constructively spent on fulfilling child’s needs.

Scientific Research on Effects of Uncontested Divorces on Children

A random survey of every fourth couple in a given territorial area had been conducted. The selection method ensured that all types of divorced couples were interviewed. This research lasted six months.

The children of these divorced couples were re-interviewed after 20 years when they reached adulthood. This repetition of the survey proved certain startlingly happy facts.

The Relationship of Children with their Parents

• Children enjoyed better relationship with either of their parents.

• They were happy that their parents had divorced. For, either of the parents was happier after the initial pain subsided.+

• These people recounted happy family unions and celebrations that included both, the biological and step-parents.

• They enjoyed the relationship they shared with their step-parents.

• Some very happy individuals felt that their family life improved for they realised the value of the remaining members.

The Happy Individuals

• The offspring of the divorced couples grew up to be emotionally stable individuals.

• Later, when they married, they shared a good relationship with their respective spouses and children.

• These people were better equipped to resolve marital conflict and parent effectively.

• Divorce had not negatively impacted their personality.

The Unhappy Minority

A few of the individuals expressed unhappiness at the divorce of their parents. They felt that they were deprived of a wholesome family life.

All the interviewed people felt children of divorced couples can turn healthy individuals. Their well-being was dependant on how well the parents handled the emotionally laden issues of:

• Dating

• Remarriage

• The meetings between the children and their non-custodial parents

• Their maintenance of a cordial relationship with their ex-spouse

Custodial parents can be expected to handle these issues well, only if their attention is not diverted by:

• The financial difficulties that are often associated with divorce. Reduced income necessitates many changes in family life. Much energy is diverted in adapting to the new environment.

• The depression experienced by the single parent. Traumatic event like a divorce should be handled seeking professional help. When the solitary parent neglects medical expertise, feelings of depression persist. Parents with heavy emotional baggage cannot be expected to handle sensitive issues that affect children.

• Infrequent visits by the non-custodial parent. The withholding of affection by the non-resident parent pains children greatly. The infrequency of their visits signifies the reduced importance of children in their lives.

In other words, only an emotionally balanced parent can take care of the emotional needs of the children and help them turn healthy adults.

We can conclude that uncontested divorces affect children to a lesser extent. This impact is further minimised if the custodial parent is well-balanced and effectively handles vitally sensitive issues.